'We don't work that hard' - a free-write on balance

I was out one night and I was talking to a woman that worked in banking. I am always hesitant to ask out someone that works in banking because the hours are insane. It's hard to date someone that works 80 hours a week. I complimented her jacket and asked where she got it. She said she bought it at a sample sale. She added that she gets most of her clothing from sample sales. I wondered how she had time for sample sales given her intense career. She looked at me with a mercurial look and said, 'Oh come on now, we don't work that hard.'

That made me think. For most of my life, my parents have preached to me the importance of hard work. As far as they were concerned, being hard working was the most important characteristic a human could have. Being a good human being was a close second. This is true in most Asian cultures. What you did for a living is, and should be, the main priority. It is who you are. Having money is very important and you should always try to make as much of it as humanly possible. Or so I thought. Then I reached a certain age and the goalpost moved. Starting a family and becoming a family man became the most important thing in the world. It no longer matters how much money you have as long as you have a family. Well, that's fucking confusing.

Parents are full of shit. They make up shit on the fly just like the rest of us. It may seem, when we are younger, that our parents know what the fuck they're doing. But they don't. They're not special, they are simply doing the best they can. I realized pretty early on that their message of becoming the hardest worker at the expense of everything else was flawed. Mostly because life is not about money or success. Don't get me wrong, those things are important. You need a good bit of money and success to live a good life. But life is more about happiness and fulfillment than anything else. There are a lot of people who made a lot of money who also committed suicide. I strive to not be one of those people. Not to mention what is the point of money if you can't actually enjoy the fruits of your labor? Well, you can always enjoy your life in retirement, right? Sure, let's live life when we're seventy. When we have the least amount of energy and are most susceptible to disease and the bullshit that comes with age. That is nonsense.

Life is meant to be lived! It is for this reason that everything I do or everything I commit myself to has to be in line with one underlying value: balance. My life must be balanced. I have to work, but I also have to enjoy life. Both those things take up a lot of time. And although it may seem otherwise, we don't have a lot of time. None of us do. We spend a third of our lives sleeping and a third of our lives working. That does not leave a lot to leave a lot of time to actually live life. To enjoy life. To explore and find the things that bring us true happiness and joy.

The first thing we can do to achieve balance in our lives is to pick a career that doesn't devalue us as humans or destroy our souls. In short, try to make money doing something that you love. This is harder said than done. Usually, the things that we love doing don't pay well. And the odds of true success in those fields also tend to be very low. I am speaking of athletics and the arts of course. If you have a passion for coding and staring at a screen all day, you will be just fine. Those people are few and far in between. I've talked to many coders, and most of them are coders simply because it is a good paycheck.

If you cannot do what you are passionate about, the next best thing is to do something that can make a lot of money without taking up all of you're time. Ok well, how do you do that? Here is how money works. 80% of the money in the world is controlled by 1% of the population. That is the Pareto principle. You will never enter that 1% making a salary. How did the people in that 1% get to that level? Most of them inherited it, and the rest started companies or discovered oil under their feet. None of you have oil under you're feet. So the next best thing is to be an entrepreneur. But you don't have to go that far, just take some amount of ownership stake in the work that you do. Work for other people, but also work for yourself. Don't take jobs that just pay a salary, take jobs that pay a salary plus stock options. Ideally for a company you really believe in. You do not want a job where you know exactly how much you are making every year. You want a stable base with upside. That is the key to money. You need the upside. If you do not have upside you can never have 'fuck you' money. That's another way of saying enough money so that you no longer have to listen to other people or have to worry about money. When it comes to work, always ask: where is the upside?

Money is not the most important thing in life, time is. That's the point. You can make unlimited money but you can't buy one extra second of time. It is your job to maximize the time that you have on this planet. Well, how do you do that? The first thing you have to do is take care of yourself. Your health and your daily energy are the most important variables when it comes to a long and happy life. My religion is exercise. My church is the gym. You have to stay active. Studies show that our brains start to deteriorate after 30. After 30, year by year, we get stupider and stupider. Our computing power literally starts to decay. There is only one thing that slows down this decay: exercise. Exercise will keep you're brain functioning at a high level and give you more day-to-day energy. People who exercise regularly also have lower rates of anxiety and depression. Get off your ass and start moving. Your life literally depends on it. An hour a day is all it takes. Oh, and eat healthy too. You are what you eat. Less fast food. Less soda.

If you maximize your energy and create a system for yourself to generate some income with some upside you should have a good amount of free time. Free time is the holy grail. Free time is heaven on Earth. Free time is balance. That is what we are aiming for. What you choose to do with your free time is up to you. Ideally, you choose to do things that make you feel better about yourself and give you even more energy. Explore new things, push yourself past your comfort zone, spend time with the people that you love, find someone to spend the rest of your life with, spend time with your kids, etc. Figure out what you value and what makes you happy and do things that are in line with that. Never underestimate the power that you have to change your own life. You can't do everything in one lifetime, but you can do a lot. The past is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

Start living!