Two Loads of Laundry, Two Jackets, and One Red Dress

Alice sits impatiently in the laundromat, waiting for Mr. Wang. He had been in the back for five minutes and hadn't returned it to her with the rest of her order. But she needs it. She neeeeds it! She needs it like she needs a hole in her head. She needs it like she needs the baklava after a Mediterranean meal. She needs it like she needs the first cup of coffee in the morning. Wearing it is an annual tradition, and it's bad luck to break tradition. There's no Plan B. As soon as Mr. Wang re-emerges, she pounces.

“Mr. Wang!” she calls out as he emerges. “My dress! You didn’t give me my dress.”
Mr. Wang glances at the computer screen. “Two loads of laundry, two jackets... no dress.”
“Yes dress! It was red. You have it,” she insists.
“No dress. Not in system.”

Alice bristles. “Listen, dry-cleaning man. I gave you that dress. I remember it clearly. So either you find it, or… I’ll call the police!”
Unbothered, Mr. Wang gestures to the sign behind him that reads, Not responsible for lost items. “I check in back. Have seat.”

Alice sighs and begins to scan the room to try and pass the time. She had already been there long enough that the pungent smell of detergent had taken root in her brain. The hum of the washers and dryers is encroaching too, like the white noise machine she uses to drown out the sounds of the city as she tries to fall asleep.

A rather average-looking man sat a few seats away on the blue chairs flanking the machines. Reluctantly, she takes a seat, leaving a few spaces between them.

“Everything alright?” he asks.
“Just dandy,” she replies. “If he loses my dress, I don’t know what I’ll do.”
“You could always burn the place to the ground,” he says with a smirk.
Alice chuckles despite herself. “Not enough. He’d just collect the insurance money and open another crappy dry cleaner that steals people’s clothes.”
“Ah, so it’s a murder-suicide situation then.”
“Totally.”
“Or,” he continues, “you could steal other people’s clothes.”
She frowns. “What good would that do? I don’t want other people to suffer. I want him to suffer.”
“Then steal his clothes.”
Her eyes light up. “Now there’s an idea. I’ll swipe all his button-downs from Marshall’s. That’ll teach him.”The man laughs.

“What did he lose?”
“A dress.”
“A special dress?”
“Yes,” she sighed. “It’s my red dress. I was going to wear it to my holiday party tonight.”
“Oh no...”
“Right?! I know.”
“I can only imagine what a woman of your beauty would look like in a red dress.”

Alice freezes. She can't recall the last time someone flirted with her in broad daylight.

“My beauty?” she asks, her voice instantly softening. “Stop it! Are you hitting on me?” She adopts a playful tone.
“I’m just stating a fact. If you look this good in sweatpants, I can only imagine how you’d look in a dress.”
“Oh, it’s just a fact, is it?” She flicks her hair with exaggerated charm. “You must stop, or you’ll make me blush!”
“Hey, if you blush, you blush.”

Mr. Wang reappears, holding a red dress. “This?” he asks.
Alice jumps up to inspect it. “No, that’s not mine.”
“Okay, I keep looking.”

To her own surprise, Alice's anger has dissipated. “Take your time,” she says cheerily. “No rush, really. Look carefully. I mean it.” She turns back to her seat, excited for round two. This time, she decides to take the lead.

“So, what’s your name?”
“Sid,” he says.
“Hello, Sid. I’m Alice.”
“Hello, Alice.”
“Hellooo,” she purrs playfully. “So, do you come here often? I’m going to hit all the clichés.”
“Love it. Only to do my laundry.”
“Do you find the need to do that a lot… your laundry?” she teases.
“Only when I run out of underwear.”
“Oh, so you have dirty underwear on?”
“No... I’m just not wearing any.”
Alice gasps. “I’m kidding!” Sid clarifies, laughing. “I don’t know why I said that.”
She laughs with him. “You dirty dirty boy.”

Mr. Wang emerges again, this time holding another red dress. “This?”
Alice inspects it closely. It was her dress. She smiles slyly and says, “Nope, not this one. Keep looking.”

As Mr. Wang disappears once more, Alice turns back to Sid. “So, what do you do, Sid?”
“Oh me? I’m a dating coach.”
“A what?”
“A dating coach.”
“That’s a real job? That pays real money?”
“Yes,” he says with a grin. “It’s a good job, actually. Get to help people. Decent pay. Work for yourself. Not a lot of downsides.”
“What does a dating coach even do?”
“Mostly get people out of their own way,” he replies with a smile.

Great answer. Alice has heard enough.

“So, do dating coaches... date?” she asks.
“I don’t know about the rest of them, but I do.”
“Lovely.”

Alice stands and calls out, “Mr. Wang! Can I see that second dress again? I think that might’ve been it.”

As Mr. Wang shuffles clothing in the back, she grabs a pen and a dry-cleaning receipt from the counter. Scribbling quickly, she hands the note to Sid as Mr. Wang returns with her red dress.

Alice pretends to inspect it. “Yes, this is it! Thank you, Mr. Wang. You’re the best. I promise I’ll never steal your button-downs from Marshall’s!”
“Okay,” he replies flatly.

Gathering her two loads of laundry, two jackets, and the red dress, Alice turns to Sid. “Call me, Sid.” She winks and walks out of the laundromat, her red dress in tow.
“Have fun at your party, Alice,” Sid calls after her.

“Crazy lady, huh?” Mr. Wang says as he turns to Sid.
“Yeah, crazy lady indeed,” Sid replies pensively. He takes the dry cleaning receipt, folds it, and puts it into his back pocket.