The Trip

Mikhail was on a boys trip. Him and his three best friends Ram, Mike, and Joe had decided to go to Nashville for a week. Nashville aka Smashville aka Nashvegas. They were all around 30 years old and single, the boys trip was on. They all needed the break. Most of them had been on lockdown due to covid but the restrictions were finally loosening up. They needed to get out and live like they used to. A year and a half is a long time to spend at home.

Mikhail had developed many new habits during covid, one of which was consuming edibles. He had been a consistent pot smoker before the pandemic but since he had to move back in with his parents he had to stop smoking. The smell was a dead give away and he didn't want to have the confrontation with his parents. So naturally, he switched to edibles. He thought that smoking pot and consuming edibles were basically the same thing and, for the most part, it was. He always took a little bit of the edibles, never too much. He noticed it would take longer to hit but when it did it was a good high. The only problem was that his eyes turned really red. It wasn't a huge problem. He enjoyed the high. He managed to smuggle a few brownies into a check in and brought them to Nashville. Smuggle is a strong word. No one was going test a couple of brownies in a checkin bag for pot. But it was still illegal so Mikhail felt like a badass.

The first night in Nashville went swimmingly. The boys ate Hattie B's, went out, talked to women, drank more than they were supposed to, ate the edibles, and ordered pizza to their airbnb at 2:00 am. All in all a perfect night. The second night went a touch different. Mikhail was feeling pretty good about himself and even better about his rediscovered freedom. Being in Nashville was the equivalent to letting a lion out of his cage. He wanted to go wild. As they say, be careful what you wish for. Before going out on this fine Saturday evening Mikhail and the boys split up a brownie and each took a quarter, just like they had done the night before. Mikhail's inner competitor got the better of him and he wanted to show that he could handle a bit more. A higher high meant more fun, right? He ate another half of a brownie by himself.

Everything was alright for about an hour or so. The boys were out on the iconic Broadway strip in Nashville. Live music was everywhere and it was an all around fantastic time. Then it happened. Something changed within Mikhail. He couldn't really explain it but his brain just stopped working. He felt different. At his core Mikhail believed that drinking water and staying hydrated was the cure to most human ailments. So his initial instinct whenever something felt wrong in his body was to drink some water. Well the bar they were in had about 300 people looking to order drinks and 2 bartenders. It was nearly impossible to get a drink. He walked to the end of the bar where he saw an opening but could not get the bartenders attention. As if the bartender would serve him a water when there were a million people asking for actual alcohol. It was a fool's errand. But he did manage to see a couple standing at the end of the bar with a full cup of water.

"Hey guys, I'm really thirsty can I have this cup of water?" he asked. The couple nodded.

Mikhail drank about a third of the cup. And then the paranoia set in. He thought that he had been drugged by the couple. He was instantly in a state of panic. He needed fresh air. On his way out he saw his friend Ram and said,

"Dude, I think I've been drugged." And quickly made his way out of the bar.

The block was packed and Mikhail could not think straight. All he knew was that he wanted more water. He walked all the way to the end of the block where he found a father and son selling hot dogs. On the side he saw a pack of 32 Poland Spring water bottles. He went up to the son and gave him all the money in his pocket, roughly $80 for the entire pack. Ram, being a great friend, had followed Mikhail to the hot dog stand. He tried to talk to Mikhail but Mikhail could not be talked to. Mikhail was in a different world. Ram had seen him give the kid 80 bucks. He promptly went up to the kid and said,

"Give me $40 back."

Surprisingly the kid complied and gave back the $40. Even he felt bad for Mikhail who, by now, was almost done with his third bottle of Poland Spring. Ram then watched him drink another 5 bottles. That's right, Mikhail drank 8 Poland Spring bottles. One right after the other. Ram felt like he should join the party but he could only chug a couple of bottles.

One of the drawbacks of the Broadway strip is the traffic and the noise pollution that it causes. There is a three way signal that is always so congested that it often causes a jam. As a matter of fact, there was a jam right when Mikhail had finished his 8th bottle of Poland Spring. He saw the jam and instantly, in his state of euphoria, wanted to fix the jam. On his way to the center of the three way intersection, however, he saw an extremely beautiful woman.

"Do you want to go home with me?" he promptly asked. Mikhail had no inhibitions at this point. He also had no manners.
"Ummm no thanks," replied the beautiful woman.
"Fair."

This is an important part of the night because had the woman said yes, Mikhail would have almost certainly followed through and the night would have been over right there. None of what was about to happen would have happened but alas the beautiful woman did not save him.

Mikhail, after getting rejected, proceeded to go in the middle of the intersection and started directing traffic. He stopped two sides, let the third turn. When they were done, he let another side turn. And then he resumed two way traffic. For about a minute he was directing traffic as if he was the conductor of an orchestra. It was flawless. But then the next cycle of red lights started and the cars started honking. He got confused. He panicked. Realizing he was in over his head, he gave up directing traffic and started sprinting up the hill away from Broadway. In his mind he could only think of one thing; he needed more water.

Ram had watched all this go down and was honestly quite impressed with Mikhail's traffic cop skills. When the latter started sprinting away, Ram had no choice but to follow. Mikhail sprinted to the next block where he found yet another hot dog vendor. He asked for water and the female vendor gave it to him. He did not however have any more cash.

"Do you accept credit card?" he asked.
"No," replied the vendor. Obviously.

He returned the water and turned around to see Ram running after him in the distance.

"Stay away from me!" Mikhail shouted. "I don't want to talk to anyone, leave me alone!"
"Dude, lets just talk," Ram replied.
"I don't want to!" and Mikhail sprinted away. Once again looking for more water.

Now Ram was faster than Mikhail so the only way Mikhail could out run Ram was to maintain his distance. He would sprint, and then slow down to a walk till Ram did the same, and then suddenly start sprinting again. This worked only because Ram wasn't trying to catch Mikhail. He was just trying to stay in range. Ram was a medical student and he knew that when people start going crazy you have to let them go crazy. Just make sure they don't injure themselves or die.

Mikhail kept on running and running until another thought popped into his head. He had to shed all his worldly possessions. First he took out his phone and wallet and put them on the side of the road and ran on. Then a little bit further down he took off his shirt, his shoes, and his belt and left them on the side of the road. He ran on. He never took off his pants. Even in his drugged up state he knew he would get arrested if he took off his pants and underwear. God bless. Ram meanwhile was keeping his distance from Mikhail but still following him. He was also picking up everything Mikhail was leaving on the side of the road in true heroic fashion.

Eventually Mikhail grew tired and was starting to lose steam. He had not found his water. He did, however, find a semi circle of a road with grass in the middle as a divider. He started walking on the grass all the way to the center of the semi circle. Before he knew it he was looking up at the Tennessee state capital building. It was superbly lit and it looked glorious in the night sky. A few minutes later Ram showed up standing across from him.

"Why did you follow me? I don't want to talk! if you cross the road, I will kill you!" said Mikhail to his best friend. Ram obliged. He didn't say anything.

Mikhail was so tired that he had to sit down on the grass. Then he closed his eyes.

"Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm," Mikhail said as he began what seemed like a meditation.
"Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm."
"Ommmmmmmmmmmmmm."

And then there was silence. Ram stood where he had been standing, cars were whizzing by on both sides of the road, and Mikhail was entering his meditative state. In this meditation he felt as if he wanted to die. Actually he thought he had already died. He had no idea who he was anymore. He didn't know if he was straight or gay. Man or woman. Hindu, muslim, jewish, or christian. Buddhist maybe? He didn't know anything anymore. He thought about his life. He thought about covid and how many people had died. How much he hated the disease, but also how much more he hated the fear it inspired in everyone. Why are people so afraid of death that they would ruin their lives? Isn't living a shit life a fate worse than death? If death is a certainty then why are we so afraid of it? He thought about his parents and how much he loved them and how badly he wanted to make them proud of him. He thought about how he was getting closer and closer to his dream of starting his own business. He thought about the girls he had been with and how he wished he married one of them. He didn't want to be alone anymore. He thought about how lucky he was to have the friends he had. Then he thought about water and how thirsty he still was. He thought he was going to die. He heard the cars whizzing by. He saw a light. They often say that when you see that light to run away from it. Mikhail was tired of fighting the light. He started sprinting towards it. He thought that if this was his destiny then so be it. He sprinted towards the light till it consumed him. Then there was silence.

He opened his eyes. He felt as if he had been reborn. More specifically, he felt as if he had died and come back. He has a new lease on life. He had been in his meditation for 45 minutes. Ram was still standing there but now so were Mike and Joe. Ram had messaged and, sensing the urgency of the situation, they came.

"Wow I feel a lot better," Mikhail said.
"That was amazing," said Ram.
"What is happening?" asked Joe.

Mikhail crossed he road and was instantly met with a hug from Ram. Yes Mikhail had been drugged, it took him a few days to realize he had drugged himself.