The Hike

"I'm not going to do the hike, but I'll go up with you guys," said Andy. Famous last words.
"All good bro, you're going to be missing out but you don't have to if you don't want to," said Clive.
"But you're going to miss the view from the top!" added Priscilla.
"I'm not a views guy, you  should know this by now," said Andy.
"We know, we know," said Clive with a chuckle.

Andy was not a views guy, he was a city kid. The three of them were on a trip to California. Andy was actually third wheeling. Clive and Priscilla had planned a trip to San Diego and had offered an invite to Andy. He accepted for one reason and one reason only, he loved San Diego. Can you blame him? San Diego is the perfect city. It is 75 and sunny year round. There is a beach. There is the Gaslamp district. Everyone is fit and beautiful there. It is paradise on Earth. If you are not happy in San Diego, you are not meant to be happy. Andy had been to San Diego a few times already and simply fell in love with the city.

But this trip was different. First of all it was cold. The weather was in the 50s, not the 70s. And they weren't even staying in San Diego, they were staying in Carlsbad. A 40 minute drive from San Diego. Priscilla had grown up in Carlsbad and her family still had an apartment there that was vacant, it just made the most sense. Not to mention Clive and Priscilla were there to go hiking, not to enjoy the beach and nightlife. Clive and Andy were friends from high school. They were both city kids that liked city things. They were pompous New Yorkers. In the good old days Clive never even left the island of Manhattan. "I've never been to Brooklyn," he used to say. Then he met Priscilla. When the time came for the two of them to move in together they moved to, you guessed it, Brooklyn. Ah the compromises of a relationship. One minute you are filled with pride and ideals and the next minute you do everything she says. Such is life.

Now Priscilla was awesome. She was ambitious and talented, not to mention fit and beautiful. She didn't really have choice in the matter, she did grow up 40 minutes from San Diego. She was also, however, an outdoorswoman. The worst. She had grown up hiking, camping, and doing all sorts of things that New York City kids only watched on tv. When she first met Clive they did city things because they lived in the city. But as time went on and the two of them grew closer Clive started to give in and try new things. This included running, camping,  eating healthy, and, yes of course, hiking.

Now there is nothing wrong with hiking. Walking uphill is great exercise. Andy did not hate hiking. After all, some would call the walk from Union Square to Times Square a "hike." Nothing at all wrong with walking for long periods of time for no obvious reason. But Clive and Priscilla were adventurous hikers. They did not just do the hikes that were easy. They did the hikes where there was a non zero probability that someone could die. They climbed mountains. Now Andy was not a coward, but the last place he wanted to die was a cold mountain. He didn't like the cold. It all seemed unnecessary.

That is precisely where the three of them found themselves on this trip. They were on a mountain, 6000 feet up. They had taken a trolley to get there. So far so good. Andy had his Starbucks in hand and was excited to go sit at the bar while Clive and Priscilla went and did their hike.

"Dude, where's the bar?" asked Andy.
"I guess there isn't one here," replied Clive.
"Ugh what am I going to do now?" asked Andy.
"Just come see the beginning of the trail. If you don't like it, you can always turn around," replied Priscilla.
"Fineeeeee," said a defeated Andy.

The three of them were off. The beginning of the trail was not bad at all. It was a regular path. It was a little bit cold but Andy had his Starbucks so he was good. Plus he could always turn around whenever he wanted. After about 30 minutes though he realized turning around was not an option. First of all they had traveled quite a distance. Secondly, he was not an outdoorsmen. And the trails weren't so clearly marked that he could easily find his way back.

"Umm I'm stuck on this hike, aren't I?" asked Andy.
"Yeah," replied Clive with a chuckle.
"Fuck, okay," said Andy.

Andy was a fighter after all. Once you're stuck in a shitty situation you just have to make the most of it. No one likes a whiner. He zipped up his leather jacket and carried on. They were surrounded by woods on every side and it was only getting colder and colder. Andy was not prepared for the hike at all. First of all he was wearing a leather jacket and jeans. He was also wearing sneakers and there was snow on the ground. Slipping was real possibility. And he still had his Starbucks cup in his hand. He couldn't throw it out, there were no garbage cans. He couldn't be a litterer for heavens sake. We must preserve the beauty that is nature. This was California after all. Oh but don't think of deforestation too much. The hike was also starting to get steeper and steeper.

"Oh man, I am a moron," said Andy.
"Don't worry, were right here. And its only like an hour to the summit," said Priscilla.
"An hour!" said Andy starting to panic.
"Eh more like 45 minutes," replied Priscilla.
"Oh gawd, what did I do to deserve this?" said Andy.
"Relax bro, the view up top is going to be worth it," said Clive.
"And we have snacks!" added Priscilla.
"Ok real talk, what are my real vulnerabilities here?" asked Andy.
"What?" asked Priscilla.
"What are the ways that I can die?" asked Andy, clarifying.
"Oh well. Once it gets dark it will be too cold so you can die of frost. There are also bears up here so...." said Priscilla.
"What!" interrupted Andy.
"Relax we have bear spray. Or at least I think we do," said Priscilla.
"Great. Fantastic. Dear god, if you're up there please don't let me die on this mountain," said Andy praying to the heavens.
"Relax nothing is going to happen to you. The worst thing that might actually happen is an ankle sprain. One of us is going to have to carry you back down if that happens. Which would be tough because it is quite icy up here and its going to be slippery on the way down," said Pricilla.
"Ok no more negative talk. We are going to the top of this mountain. We are going to eat snacks. It will not get dark. There will be no bears or ankle sprains. It will not be slippery on the way down. We are going to make it home safe and sound. And we are getting hammered once we do," said Andy. Clive and Priscilla laughed.

Now Clive and Pricilla had done hikes much more adventurous than this one. They were not worried. But Andy had never done anything like this, he had every right to be a little bit scared. It's that little bit of fear that keeps you alive. The mountain got steeper and steeper but the three of them managed admirably. Before they knew it they had reached the summit point. It was a nice view but Andy was too cold to enjoy it. He was still nervous about the hike back down. His feet were freezing in his sneakers. And the zipper on his leather jacked had ripped. He still had his Starbucks cup. They were all sitting on a boulder looking out at the view.

"These are some good snacks," Andy had to admit. They had ham, cheese, and crackers.
"Yeah, the best part of hiking is the snacks at the top," said Priscilla.
"What do you think about the view," asked Clive jokingly.
"You know I don't give two shits about the view. But it's nice I guess. I would've thought it would have been more vast," replied Andy.
"Well, were not at the top. We can go there if you'd like?" asked Priscilla.
"What?" said Andy starting to panic again.
"Yeah, were only at 8000 feet, there is another 2000 feet to go to get to the top. It would only take an hour," said Priscilla jokingly.
"You guys go. I think I'll just jump from here and call it a day," said Andy. They all laughed.

After finishing the snacks the three of them started their descent. Immediately Andy's shoes started to become a problem. They had no traction. Every time he stepped on some snow his feet would slip a little. After a few minutes he realized that he could not go on. The possibility of him slipping was too great to ignore.

"Guys, I'm slipping badly here. What do I do?" asked Andy.
"Hold up a minute," replied Pricilla. She went into her bag and pulled out something that looked like metal spikes. "Put these around you're shoes."
"What are those?" asked Andy.
"They're for the snow. It should give you some traction," replied Priscilla.

Andy took the spikes and wrapped it around his sneakers. He took a few steps after trying them on and instantly felt the difference. He wasn't slipping anymore.

"You mean to tell me, you had these in you're bag the whole time? Seriously?" asked a relieved Andy. Clive and Priscilla laughed. "You guys are hilarious. No, I mean it. Really funny. You should do standup."

The rest of the hike went about as well as expected. The walk down was a lot faster than the walk up. Before he knew it Andy saw the base site. Priscilla had walked ahead. Clive and Andy were trailing in the back.

"So what did you think of you're first hike?" asked Clive.
"Great hike, 5 out of 10," replied Andy. Clive laughed. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Yeah shoot," replied Clive.
"Why Priscilla? You guys are so different," asked Andy.
"She's just the right partner for me man," said Clive. He did not hesitate. "Yeah we come from different worlds but as a team we're great. And she makes me better. She pushes me. We all need a little bit of that in our lives. I'm going to marry that girl."
"Well in that case, you better," said Andy.

Andy saw a recycling bin. Finally. He threw out his Starbucks cup.