The Cheetah and the Amazon

Raul walks into the crowded bar, feeling a bit out of sorts, as usual. He's running late and has hurried to make up for it…as usual. It doesn’t help when the Uber driver takes 8 minutes to get to him. After showing his ID, he walks to the front corner, just as the text message instructed.

In the corner seat, a man sits sipping his beer. He’s perfectly average-looking, except for the jean jacket straight out of a Canadian bachelor party.

"Sid?"
"Raul!" Sid springs up from his seat and shakes Raul's hand. Somehow, even in the packed bar, Sid has an open seat where Raul can join him. "So, tell me about yourself."

Raul is caught a bit off guard. "Woah, right into it, huh?"
"You don’t seem like a guy who wants to waste time. Unless you are. In that case, I'd love to talk about Italian wines, they're so hot right now,” Sid says with a chuckle.
"What?"
"Never mind, tell me about yourself."
"Well, where to begin? I'm a software engineer. Grew up in Pennsylvania. Moved here about 5 years ago. Live in Midtown. And I haven't been on a date in a year."
"A year? That's serious."
"Yes, that's why I reached out."

Sid leans in. "You know I'm not looking for anything serious right now, so dating is out of the question, but I wouldn't be opposed to some casual fun," he says this rather suggestively and holds eye contact with Raul for what seems like an eternity. Raul starts to panic. Did he completely misunderstand what this meeting was? How is he going to get out of this?

Sid then bursts into laughter. "Relax, man, I’m just messing with you. I know you're not dating, and I can help you fix it."
"Right. Great." Sid continues to laugh at Raul’s perplexion.

"So, what's the problem?"
"If I knew that..."
"You wouldn't need me!" They laugh together this time. "So, tell me what's been going on?"

Raul sighs.

"Well, there's not much to say. I go out, I'm on the apps, I shoot my shots, but it's just rejection after rejection. I keep getting friend-zoned or worse."
"What's worse?"
"Well, a girl actually laughed at me when I asked her out. And not just a little chuckle. It was like a gross, guttural, snorting cackle.”
"Really?"
"Yeah. I’m kind of scarred by it."
"That's pretty funny."
"Yup, that's my life. I'm starting to think I'm ugly."
"You're not ugly."
"I know, right? I'm like 12% body fat!"
"Total stud."
"Well, I wouldn't go that far."
"Yeah, you are a touch on the shorter side."
"What!"
"I joke I joke, I kid I kid."

"So, how many women would you say you've asked out in the past year?" Sid continues.
"Including the apps?"
"Yeah."
"Probably around 100."
"Oh, well there’s your problem,” Sid says rather matter-of-factly. “Too many."
"Too many!?"
"Too many. You're chasing."
"Chasing? What am I chasing?"

"Women."

"I'm not chasing women."

"You've asked out 100 in the last year."

"That's not chasing."
"What is it then?"
"It's a numbers game."
"Oh, right, a numbers game,” Sid starts laughing again. “And how is this numbers game trading us? Are we winning at this numbers game? Is the numbers game making us happy?"
"Well... no."
"Obviously, because you're chasing."
"Fine, but what's wrong with that?"

"Well, if you were being chased by a bear, how fast would you run?"

"...pretty fast, I guess."

"So you see my point."

"But I’m not a bear, you just said I’m a stud! And isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Chase girls. Isn't that what guys my age do?"
"Sure, maybe."
"So what's wrong with me doing it?"
"Is it making you happy?"
"No."
"Then it’s not worth doing.”
"So what am I supposed to do?"

Sid takes a large swig of his beer. He’s toying with Raul, fully aware he has him right on the edge of his seat awaiting the answer. Finally, with a dry smile, Sid delivers his three words of wisdom.
"You stay ready."

"Stay ready?"
"Stay ready. The world has a way of making things happen for you if you just stay on your toes."
"But... that's just not true."
"It isn't?"
"No."

"Do you like your job?"
"Yeah, sure. I actually think I love it."
"That's great. How did you get into it?"
"Uhhh, I've been into computers for as long as I can remember."
"What was your first interaction with a computer?"
"My parents had one."
"So it was just... right there?"
"...yeah..."
"And then you played with it and loved it and... boom! Here you are."
"In a way, yes."
"You see what I'm saying? As a child, you weren't looking for the computer, looking for your future profession. You just did whatever interested you, and the computer found you. And here we are."

"But it's not like it all came easy, a lot of hours went into learning to code, applying to jobs, boot camps, hackathons, etc."
"Of course. But everything is work. You don't think a relationship is work? Look at that woman over there." Sid subtly points with his eyes to a woman in the middle of the bar.
"She's quite... tall," is all Raul can muster. He’s absolutely dumbstruck by her beauty.
"You like her?"
"Uhhh, yeah, I'm not blind."

"Let's say you go over there and talk to her and, by some miracle, she agrees to go out with you. You date, she becomes your girlfriend, you think that's easy? No, it's work. You get married, more work. Have kids, more work. Grow old together, yet even more work. Work is involved in everything we do."
"So what's your point?"

"What exactly are you chasing?"

"...sex?"

"No."

"...power?"

"No."

"Then what?"

"You're chasing more work! You're making everything a lot harder than it needs to be! Don't you see it? No matter if you succeed or fail at anything, work is the constant. You can control for it. Work will always be there. It's work, struggle, the grind, suffering itself, there is nothing you can do to make it go away. It's human. It will always be there. All you're doing is making life a whole lot harder for yourself."

Raul goes quiet.
"So what do I do?"
"You stay ready."
"Stay ready for what?"
"For the work to present itself."
"And how will it do that?"
"Not it, she."
"She?"

Sid points his eyes at the woman standing right next to him. It's the Amazonian goddess from the middle of the bar. She’s brazenly relocated in the last 2 minutes.

"What the fuck!" Raul whispers.
"Looks like the work has presented itself."
"How do you know she likes me?"
"She could be standing anywhere in the world right now, but she's standing right next to you. That, my friend, is a sign."
"No, it's not!"
"It is, the world has brought the opportunity right to your doorstep, did you stay ready?"
"No! I don't know! Maybe?"
"Let's find out."'

Sid gets up from his chair and walks towards the middle of the bar. As he passes the woman, he taps her shoulder closest to Raul. She turns and looks right at him. He doesn’t have time to think.

"Hi, I'm ready. Shit! I mean, I'm Sid. Wait no! I'm Raul. Yep, that's my name."

She laughs. And flashes a beaming smile…unlike any Raul has seen from a girl in a year.
Time to get to work.