Television

"So, what do you want to watch?"

"I don't know bb, you pick."

"No, you."

"No, you!"

"Sopranos?"

"We can do better, I'm not in a violent mood right now."

"It's basically a comedy."

"In what world?"

"Literally in this one."

"Eh. We could watch a movie?"

"Ugh, who's got that kind of time, ya know?"

"Yeah."

"We've been watching a lot of TV lately though."

"What's wrong with that?"

"What do you think couples did before there was TV?"

"Huh?"

"Like obviously there’s sexy time, and then a little bit of the chit chat and the blah blah, and obviously we have to eat and sleep and all that. But most of the time we just...."

"...sit here and watch TV..."

"...yeah... so, what did people do before TV?"

"I don't know, they talked I guess. You could talk to me more."

"Talk about what?"

"Your life, your feelings, and more importantly my life and my feelings. Have you even asked how my day was?"

"How was your day?"

"It was meh."

"Riveting."

"No, I'm serious, let's talk."

"Honey, I love you but if we talked anymore about Mary and Stacy and Charlie and Barley and Farley, I would lose my fucking mind."

"Why do you hate me?"

"Do you know that in some religions gossip is considered as bad as murder?"

"Yeah, I watched Nobody Wants This too...with you."

"And yet, you still gossip."

"Spies gossip."

"What?"

"Think about it, the entire profession of espionage is based on gossip."

"They gather intel."

"And so do I."

"I guess that's fair."

"We could go on a walk."

"While I'm on hobble watch?!"

"Oh my god, for the last time, you're using it wrong!"

"Am too! Watch me hobble!"

"Yeah, you're hobbling! You're not on hobble watch. If you were on hobble watch you wouldn't be hobbling but could. That's hobble watch!"

"Agree to disagree."

"You big baby."

"No need to bring my weight into this."

"Maybe, they read?"

"What?"

"Instead of TV, maybe they read?"

"Like books?"

"Yeah, they would sit on their cute little couches and read books."

"Yeah...maybe they did."

"So... Sopranos?"

"Yeah, might as well, can't think of anything else."