Sad Birthday

Ro walks on the trail behind his house. It is a picturesque fall day, 65 and sunny, but Ro can't be bothered to be happy. It is his 32nd birthday. There are those birthdays like 18 or 21 that fill you up with excitement and positivity, and then there are the others. For Ro, 32 is definitely one of the others.

He continues walking. A pretty girl jogs by him, and she smiles. Ro is quick to break eye contact; he can't engage in his current state. He sits on a bench to watch the fit people walk and jog by. A large golden retriever comes and sits by Ro. He pets the dog, and for a fleeting moment he is not intensely focused on how depressed he is. The dog's owner, another pretty woman, comes to collect it. Ro again can’t engage, and they leave.

It seems that the whole world is happy and passing Ro by, a literal representation of what he feels inside. Then, out of nowhere, a man, with a white beard and plenty of wrinkles, walks to Ro's bench.

"May I join you?" asks the man.
"It's a free country."

The man sits down. For whatever reason, Ro has the sensation that he has met the man before. As if he knows him but can’t quite place from where. Perhaps that’s why Ro isn’t put off by this man encroaching on his space, even though he normally would be.

"Do I know you from somewhere?" asks Ro.
"It's possible, I do keep up with a lot of people."
"Ah okay, do we go to the same temple?"
"It's possible, I have been in a lot of temples."
"Are you from here?"
"Oh, I like to believe I am from everywhere."

Ro knows that line should weird him out, yet he’s calm as can be. Why?

"Whoa! Look at her!" says the man as a beautiful jogger runs by. "I would say this is perhaps the best bench in all of the world."
"Yeah, she's hot."

"Is everything okay? You seem a bit out of sorts."
"Is it that obvious? It's my birthday."
"Oh well, Happy Birthday!"
"It's more of a sad birthday."
"Why?"
"I'm broke and I'm not married. Feel like I'm just wasting my time. I'm a broke, unfuckable guy."

The old man erupts in laughter.

"Hey, at least you're funny."
"Depression is always hilarious."
"Look around, there's so many women, you can't find one that wants to fuck you? Not one?"
"Nope."
"How hard have you looked?"
"Thoroughly."

"Oh my, why do you think that is?"
"Probably because I'm broke."
"How broke are we talking?"
"I don't know...broke."
"Are you homeless?"
"No, I have an apartment."
"Do you have a car?"
"Yes."
"Do you have a job?"
"Yes."
"You, my young sad friend, are not broke. I'd say you are actually doing quite well for yourself."

"But all of my peers have so much more than me."
"Oh, so you're relatively broke."
"Yeah."
"Perhaps you should get some poorer friends."
"That's a good idea."

"I was once broke as well."
"Then what happened."
"Then I became rich."
"Of course! Everyone is rich but me!"
"I was also once unfuckable."
"Then what happened?"
"I got fucked!"
"Everyone gets fucked but me!"

"I'll tell you a story. I grew up in a small farming village. All my ancestors were farmers. There was a trail just like this by my house where I used to sit and watch all the pretty girls pass by. Of course, I was much better looking then, so occasionally, they would look my way. But I was much too shy to talk to them back then. My parents kicked me out of the house because they thought all I did was sit around and look at pretty girls. They wanted me to make a name for myself. I was broke for a while. I moved to the big city and became a plumber. Over time I got really good at it, so good that I started to teach other people how to be plumbers. I started my own plumbing business and over time it took off and I became very rich. I got married, had kids, got divorced, had grandkids, remarried, traveled the world, and did all that I could. What is ironic is that all I want to do these days is sit on park benches looking at pretty girls."

"That is pretty funny."
"That's what we call a full circle. And you know what's even more ironic than that?"
"No, what?"

"That I would trade it all to be you."
"What?!"

"You're young! You have your whole life ahead of you! Married, single, rich, poor, all of it is ahead of you. Kids, grandkids, heartbreak, love, all of that is ahead of you. I've been through all of it, and I would do just about anything to go through it again. I have tumors all over my body ready to take whatever life I have left. When I was young, I never thought I'd get to this point, I always thought I'd die young, but I wasn't so lucky. I didn't want to live so long back then, but now I'm fighting for every minute. Every second even. I would give back all my wealth to have the one thing I cannot buy...time! You have it, and I don't. So understand that and appreciate it. You have time and you have energy! You don't get to have a sad birthday because you still have time. And lots of it! You don't like your job? Change it! You don't have a girlfriend? Get better! Work out more, get better clothes, do better activities. Become someone worth liking. And you can do it all because you have time. So appreciate it!"

"Wow...."

"Sorry, but it had to be said."
"You're quite excitable for an old man."
"Who you calling old? Only I get to call myself old, ya little punk!"
"Okay okay, I'm sorry."

"Now go! Go do something with your life! Leave the sitting on park benches and looking at chicks to old men like me."
"Okay."
"No, I mean it! Go! Now! Go on, get!"

Ro abruptly gets up and briskly walks away. When he gets about 60 paces from the bench, he realizes just how desperately he needs to thank this man. He turns around to yell his gratitude. But the man is nowhere to be seen.