Respect

"Where the fuck are we going?" asked Ro. He was on the back of Abi's motorcycle.
"We're almost there," replied Abi.
"Almost where? This doesn't look like a road to a bar."
"It is, trust me."

They were cruising through a residential area, away from the main streets where Ro thought the bars would be. Abi took a right turn and then a left into, what can only be described as, a farmhouse.

"We're here," said Abi as he stopped the bike and turned it off.

It was a pitch-black night. Ro could hear other men laughing, sitting in their circles, around bikes of their own. Some even had a car. They were in a large courtyard. It reeked of cow manure. Along the perimeter of the courtyard were little rooms for the cows, some of them even had cows in them. The cows were mostly asleep.

"Where the fuck are we?" asked Ro.
"Welcome to the Indian Bar!" replied Abi.
"Bro, it smells like shit." Abi laughed.
"What do you want?"
"To get the fuck out of here."
"This is the place where we all start drinking here. This was where I had my first beer, and I think it would be poetic if we had our first beer here together."
"One question: why?"
"Innnnnnndiiiia."
"Fine, get me a beer."
"Okay, stay here."
"Fuck that, if I am drinking in this shit hole I am at least going to check out their operation."

The two of them walked towards a well-lit store at the far end of the courtyard. There was a man sitting on the other side of the metal bars.

"Two Budweisers, two Haldiram's, and two cigarettes," said Abi. The man started fetching the items.
"I don't want a cigarette," said Ro.
"They're both for me," said Abi with a laugh.
"You smoke now?"
"Only when I drink."
"Oh, like white women."

The man slid two 24oz cans of Budweiser, two small packets of Haldiram's, and two loose cigarettes under the bars. Abi paid him and the two of them started walking back to the motorcycle.

"Why did we get snacks?" asked Ro.
"You drink without snacks?" asked Abi in return.
"Uhhhh yeah. I never eat while I drink."
"What! I have to, I'll die otherwise."
"Or, you might actually get drunk."

They both cracked open a Bud. There is something so magical about the sound of cracking a beer after not having drunk for a while. It signals the start of a good time, a release of sorts. They clinked cans and both took a gulp.

"So this is Innnnndiaaa," said Ro.
"Innndddddiaaaaa," replied Abi.
"When are you going to get the fuck outta here?"
"Out of where?"
"Here, this city, it's so small and cliquey."
"No man, it's good here, I don't have to worry about anything."
"But there's also no opportunity here. Not to mention no womenfolk."
"So where would I go?"
"Mumbai. New Delhi. No Delhi has too much pollution. Mumbai."
"Do you know how expensive Mumbai is?"
"I know, but you have to start somewhere. Just go there, find some work, and build from there."
"It's not that easy bro, it's going to take me years to establish myself."
"It takes years for everyone to establish themselves. But you've already spent ten years here and the opportunity is just not what it would be there."
"I have family here, I have a community, I'm established."
"Established as what, another motherfucker that's just watching time pass by? Bro, I'm seeing the kinds of people that are here. There are some people that are hard-working, but the rest are just lazy fucking people. They know that they will always have a roof over their head and mom will always make warm parathas to eat, so they just do nothing. They're wasting their lives and I don't want that to be you."
"It won't be bro. You know I work."
"I know but you also have to know that where you are matters. You were born here so I get why you want to stay, but realize that the Ganges isn't the only river."
"What?"
"It's from a Hemingway book. He's an American author, pretty good. He wrote about a guy that bought a house next to a river that was full of water. Then the river dried up but the guy stayed. He spent the rest of his life living in poverty next to a river that wasn't a river anymore. He thought that his river was the only river. I don't want that to be you."
"It won't be, I'm telling you."
"All I'm saying is this place is going nowhere. Say you go to Mumbai and a year later you have to come back, that's fine! At least you tried. But this place, your home, is not going anywhere. You can always come back here and live this life, but you won't always have the energy to make it in Mumbai."
"What do you mean?"
"It's something my dad tells me all the time. He goes 'Ro, 30 to 50 is the age. That is all the time you have to establish yourself. Before that, you don't have the maturity, after that, you don't have the energy. 30 to 50. That's the time.' You're 33, if you're not going to take risks now, then when are you?"
"I get that but here is what is actually going to happen. I'm going to go there, I am going to live in a shitty apartment. I will apply for all the good jobs and I won't get them. So then I have to go pump oil at some gas station just to pay the rent."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Can you imagine what people will say if they find out I am in Mumbai pumping diesel?"
"Can you imagine what this world would be if no one ever pumped diesel?"
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone starts somewhere. Everyone that makes it from where we come from has to pump diesel at some point in their lifetime. There is no dishonor in that."
"People don't see it that way here, that's what you don't get."
"Oh, I get it. You want to be respected, I get that. And people will always respect people with money, so everyone wants money. But how does anyone get to that money? You have to hustle! But no one respects that. Noooo. You have to get dirty, and you have to do things other people don't want to do. You have to work. Everyone respects the results, but very few respect the process. That's the problem with respect."
"Yeah but we all want respect, that's human."
"Look at my life. I'm not super successful but I'm on my way, right? Let's say I make it. I become a titan of industry in America and I join all their country clubs and high society and all that bullshit. Do you think those people will respect me? Like truly respect me? The people who have been there since birth. Do you think the people at the top will ever see me as their equal? As one of them? No, they won't. I can have all the success and all the money. I can buy their houses and fuck their wives, but they will never see me as one of their own. Why? Because I don't look like them. So their respect is not what I am after. It is a stupid goal, I simply want a better life for me and my family, that's it. As long as I respect myself and my family respects me, I don't need the respect of anyone else."
"Wow, you get real preachy when you start drinking."
"Have you seen Narcos on Netflix?"
"No. Why?"
"The first couple of seasons are about Pablo Escobar. He was, at his peak, probably the richest man in the world. He was a drug lord, a gangster. He made all the money in the world, bought all the cars, fucked all the women but he still wanted something more. He wanted respect, something he felt could never get as a gangster. So he ran for office. He tried to go legitimate so that people would respect him. And he won! Obviously, he bought the election, but he won! Do you know what the other politicians did when he showed up to Congress?"
"No."
"They laughed him out of the building. He had achieved more than the rest of them combined and they still laughed at him. He thought being a senator would get him respect but he was wrong. There is a great scene in the show where he is walking out of Congress mad as hell. You can see him realizing that, no matter what he did, those motherfuckers in that building will never respect him. Ever. No matter what."
"Wow."
"All I'm saying is that if the only reason you're hesitant to leave is because of what other people might think when you might fail or might struggle then you have to snap out of that shit. That's not a good enough reason to not go. To not try. Now, if you are afraid of the risk or the work that you will have to do, then that I get. You weren't going to make it anyway."
"Don't give me that shit, you know I want to work."
"Then go! Why are you wasting your life here?"
"Fine! Maybe I might."
"Finally!"
"You done ranting? My beer is done."
"Mine too."
"One more?"
"Fuck that. Not here, somewhere else."
"Why not here?"
"Because there are other rivers in the world. And they smell better than this one."