Not That Cute

Rizzo gets in his car and begins to drive. It is a Friday night, and he is in a uniquely good mood. The kind of mood you only have fresh off a vacation. His batteries were fully recharged.

He drives to the town over and pulls up to his friend Cole’s apartment complex. He texts, “Here,” waits a few minutes, and sees Cole emerge from the building. Cole gets in the car.

"The Rizzster! What's up, man! How the fuck was Japan?" asks Cole as they drive away.
"Great man, so happy I finally went, a trip of a lifetime. We gotta go, bro, I have taken over, it's my kingdom now."
"Aww yeah, how was that Japanese 'sushi' if you know what I mean?"
"It was more 'sashimi' if you know what I mean..."

"I have no idea what you mean."
"What's understood doesn't need to be explained."

"So you heard about Winnie and her new man?"
"Yeah."

"Damn, she did you dirty. And then to invite you to her best friend’s birthday, keeping you around and shit, that shit ain't right, it ain't right."
"She's single, I'm single, I just so happened to go to Japan and come back to find her with a boyfriend. What can I do? We are friends after all."

"I don't know what the fuck you guys are, but it ain't friends. I have friends, but we don't hug the way you two hug. For twenty seconds and shit. That aint right. It ain't right!"
"I mean I don't even know if I liked her like that..."

"Bruh."
"I'm serious! Listen, I'm a grown man doing grown man shit, going to Japan and shit, killin' it, taking it over, making friends, traveling the world, can she keep up with me?"

"Bruh."
"I'm cool with it, I really am."

"Think you blew your shot, man."
"Whatever, she ain’t even that cute."
"Bruh."
"Don't bruh me! I said it, and I meant it!"

But he doesn’t mean it, and Winne is that cute. She’s all smiles and giggles as she opens the door to her apartment. The party’s in full swing. Winne hugs Rizzo as he walks through the door. It’s sensual and it lingers, just like Cole predicted.

"Rizzo! I'm so happy to see you, oh my god, you’re the best, I love you…” and a bunch of other blah blah blah Rizzo doesn’t hear. He has to gather himself and refrain; he cuts the hug short.

"You got a man now, you can't be hugging me like that," says Rizzo.
"Oh, come on Rizzo! We're still friends!" responds Winnie.
"Nahhhh."
"Where's my hug?" asks Cole.

The party goes on from there. The drinks are flowing, the music is bumping, and there is even a bit of dancing scattered throughout the not-very-large apartment. Someone brings out a cake with candles, and there’s a huge roar of Happy Birthday sung throughout the crowd. Merriness all around.

About a half hour later, Rizzo and Cole find themselves leaning against a wall, with a clear view of Winne on the couch with her newly minted boyfriend. Their flirtation is abundant and impossible to ignore.

"That can't be easy for you to watch," says Cole.
"It's all right man, she can do what she wants."
"It ain't right! You're not hitting on anyone in front of her!"
"But I could."
"Why the fuck don't you? There are so many girls here!"

"Nah, that ain’t me bruh."
"Ugh! This is hard for me to watch. Fuck this."

With that Cole walks away and starts talking to a woman. Rizzo stands there sipping his drink, trying to not make it obvious that he is keeping an eye on Winnie.

Rizzo makes his way to the refreshment table and returns to see Winnie and her boyfriend heavily making out on the couch. Rizzo's temperature rises, and his heart starts racing. He immediately shifts his gaze away from the couch. He can't watch. He is momentarily paralyzed. Is he having a panic attack? He can't breathe.

He puts his drink down and heads outside to get some fresh air. Once outside he can’t bottle it up anymore. Tears start flowing down his eyes. He can't stand to be at the house another minute. He promptly gets in his car and starts driving away.

Halfway home his phone starts ringing and he answers via the Bluetooth in his car.

"Did you fucking leave?! I don't see the car! You were my ride, motherfucker!" Cole’s voice blares through Rizzo’s speakers.
"Sorry bruh, I couldn't stay."
"What! Why?"
".... they started making out."

"Oh."
"Yeah."

"Ain’t right. It ain't right!"
"I know, she's fucked up right?"

"No! You ain't right! If you like someone, you tell them. Then, either way, you know. This 'ooh I don't know how I feel' and 'ohh she ain't that cute' shit is nonsense. You said you were doing all this grown-up shit in Japan, so be a grown-up! Tell her how you feel and either it works out or it doesn't. Either way, you know. Dumb bitch."

"What do I do now?"
"Well, first you drive the fuck back here and pick me up!"
"Fine! But what do I do about Winnie?'

"You tell her 'Listen, woman, I was dumb fuck and didn't realize that I had feelings for you. For that reason, we can't be friends. I hope you understand. If you want to dump that loser boyfriend of yours—who you only got to make me jealous—and give me and you a shot, I would be happy to oblige. Otherwise, have a blessed life.' And you go on your merry way."

"Will that work?"
"Fuck no! You blew your chance. But it's your only move. You move the fuck on. Now come and get me you motherfucker!"

"Okay, I'm coming."
"Not that cute, my ass!"

So much for Rizzo’s refreshing vacation.