Mania

"Bro, you have to start investing here! India is the future. America is the past!" Abi says this to Ro as they travel to Abi’s house, sharing a seat on his motorcycle.

Ro is on his annual holiday to the motherland. Most of India is unchanged: the paan is the best in the world, the food is amazing, the traffic is never-ending, the December weather is perfect, and society overall is still a bit too conservative for its own good. But there’s one key difference that’s making everyone surprisingly happier. The Indian public has gone stock crazy.

"Dude, I know nothing about this market," Ro tries to brush off his cousin.
"Don't worry, I'll clue you in on all the hot stocks. All you have to do is buy!"
"Eh, I don't know bro. I kinda came here to just relax and take a break from trading, not to trade more."
"You know what we call you? Idiot! You would have to be an idiot to not be in this market! Geesh, what kind of trader are you?"

After they get to Abi’s house, Ro sparks up a conversation with an uncle, who much like the rest of the country is in an uncharacteristically good mood.

"Ro! Let me show you something," says his uncle as he takes out his phone. "Look at all these stocks! They have done so well for me, all of them have doubled just in the last month!"
"So why don't you sell?"
"Sell!?"
"Yes, it seems like a good time to sell."
"Ro, listen to me, I am older than you, so I know more. You don't get rich by selling, but only by buying more! Geesh, what kind of trader are you?"

Ro's aunt walks into the room.
"Ro I need you to help me carry groceries from the market, won't you come with me?"
"Yeah of course."

"While you're at the market, why don't you buy yourself a new sari, dear?" Ro's Uncle chimes in.
"First of all, who's this 'dear'? Second of all, we've been married for 25 years, and you have never once asked me to go buy a new sari, is everything okay?" replies his aunt.
"Oh everything is better than okay baby, things are great!"
"Who is this 'baby'?"

Ro can’t help but chuckle as he gets up to walk with his aunt to the market.

"You know Ro, times really are good, your uncle has never been in a better mood his whole life. He's been talking about all the work that he's going to get done on the house, how we are going to have the best, most modern house in the neighborhood. It really is quite exciting."
"Yeah, tell me about it, everyone is telling me to buy stocks! Indian stocks! It's insane. "
"You should! Even I have some stock!"
"What, you? How?"
"Well, your uncle got me the app and told me a little bit about what to buy and I've been buying! It's so great, I've almost doubled my money!"
"But what do you know about stocks?"
"What's there to know? Just buy! Geesh, what kind of trader are you!"

This really has Ro wondering…if all his relatives in India are making such a killing, what kind of trader is he?

While his aunt shops for that new sari, Ro figures he should eat another paan. The vendor is glued to his phone as Ro arrives at the stand.

"Hey, can I have a paan?"
"Can you wait two minutes? I have to make a trade."

"You're a paan vendor! Why are you trading stocks!"
"It's so easy! Now hush, I have to make a trade. Geesh, what kind of trader are you?"
"How do you know I'm a trader?!"
"Everyone is a trader these days."

Ro waits for 5 minutes for his paan to be made and then eats it angrily. He goes back to meet his aunt and helps her carry the groceries back home. On his walk back he can’t help but notice all the people on their phones: stocks, stocks, and more stocks!

"Daddy, can I buy stocks too?" asks Ro's younger cousin to her father, Ro's uncle.
"Why sure honey, you need to learn the stock market at an early age, I'll get you started tomorrow."
"Also, can I get a mini skirt? All my friends have one."
"A mini skirt?!"
"Please Daddy, please!"
"Oh okay, I can't say no to you."

Her father had said no to her literally her entire life. Ro has had enough.

"Okay, what the fuck is going on!"
"Ro! Language!" says his aunt.

"Let me get this straight, Abi is long stocks, uncle is long stocks, auntie is long stocks, and now, tomorrow, this little one...will also be long stocks? She's 15! If all of you are already long, who is left to buy? How will the stocks go any higher?!"

"Calm down Ro, eat something, you get so excited when you're hungry." And so they eat.

Ro can’t sleep a lick. He stays up all night wondering: who was left to buy? But finally the answer becomes obvious: Ro was left to buy! He downloads the Indian stock app and gets down to business.