Keylogger

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – OUTSIDE ROBOTICS LAB – DAY

The hallway is quiet except for the faint whirring of machinery from inside the ROBOTICS LAB.

ALAN, BRIAN, and NOLAN, all high school seniors, hover near the door. Mr. Colon is inside helping a student with her final project.

ALAN

Why don't you guys just study?

BRIAN

What would be the fun in that?

NOLAN

Who's got the time? The three boys huddle closer to the lab door.

BRIAN

Alright, Nolan, you're the distraction. Just go in and get his attention. I'll slip the keylogger on his computer. Once he logs in, we'll have the password. I’ll grab the keylogger after school and retrieve the key to the exam. Easy peasy.

NOLAN

Sounds good to me. Colon loves me.

ALAN

Then why the fuck am I here?

BRIAN

You, Alan—my square friend—are the guard. You make sure no one else gets in the lab while I sneak in.

ALAN

Sneak! What if he sees you?

BRIAN

Well, if Nolan does his job the way he's supposed to, he won’t have a clue I’m there.(to Nolan) Am I right, Nolan?

NOLAN

You are indeed, Sir Brian. My charm is unmatched. Let’s get it.

ALAN

Can we talk about this? I mean, is this really necessary?

BRIAN

Yes. Can you imagine the shame I’d bring my family if I can’t go to college because I flunked robotics?! Oh, the humanity! The calamity! The unmitigated gall!

ALAN

Well, if we get caught, we're not going to college anyway.

BRIAN

Yeah but that's fine, that's badass. And we're not going to get caught, so it’s really not a problem.

ALAN

It’s badass?! We're stealing the answer key—

BRIAN

Shhhh, not so loud!

ALAN (whispering)

We're stealing the answer key to a pass/fail test. Like, what are we even doing? Best fucking high school in the country, and this is what we're doing?

BRIAN

How do you think we got to be the best?

ALAN

By getting above-average genetics and decent parents!

BRIAN

Bullshit. Our parents cheated, our grandparents cheated—we come from a long line of test copiers and stealers.

ALAN

My parents didn’t cheat!

BRIAN

And that’s why you have a B average.

ALAN

You have a B average!

BRIAN

B+! Very respectable. And I also have a girlfriend.

ALAN

So?

BRIAN

The way I see it, you can have two of: good grades, sleep, or a life. As we all know I’m about quality of life, so no sleep and no life is a non-starter. So did I really have a choice?

ALAN

Yes. You should have a C average!

BRIAN

And have my parents up my ass nonstop? It’s uncouth! Have some fucking couth.

NOLAN

For real, man, have some fucking couth.

ALAN

You have some fucking couth!

BRIANI don’t know what we should be doing in general, but this is what we’re doing now. The test is tomorrow, none of us has studied—

ALAN

—I studied!

BRIAN

Like I was saying, none of us have studied. We need the answers, we get the answers, we graduate, we party, we go to college. The end.

ALAN

Except it’s not the end.

BRIAN

It’s the end.

NOLAN

It’s the end.

ALAN

It’s not. You think you’re going to stop in college? No, you’re just going to keep on trying to get away with not doing the work, right up until the point where you get caught and pay an even bigger price.

BRIAN

We’ll deal with that when we get there. And besides, some people never get caught.

NOLAN

That’s true. Some people never get caught.

The robotics lab door opens. A GIRL walks out.

BRIAN

It’s showtime.

ALAN

This is brutal.

BRIAN

We don’t have time for this! Listen, why do you think we all do these things? Do we really give a fuck about our futures? No. We’re kids, we don’t care. But you know who does care? Our parents! They’re the ones putting pressure on us to get these magnificent grades, or else. If I fail, I can’t leave my house. And as a lifestyle-driven guy, that is not an option. And you know what else? I tried to get grades on my own. You know what I got? A B-. You know who didn’t love that? My parents. So what do you want me to do?

ALAN(sighs)

Fine. I won’t like it, but I’ll do it.

BRIAN

Great. Nolan, you’re up.

NOLAN

Showtime!

Nolan casually strolls into the robotics lab.

NOLAN

Oh, Mr. Colon, can I ask you a question...?

Outside the door, Alan and Brian whisper.

ALAN

If you were my kid, I’d be so proud of you if you got a B- on your own. So proud.

BRIAN

Thanks, bro. If you were my kid and I found out you helped your stupid friends steal the answers for a test, I’d kick your fucking ass. Have some fucking couth!

Brian waits for the right moment, then slyly slips into the robotics lab.