Incompatibility

It’s a warm summer Sunday. Brett and Lucy are meeting for their first date. They met last week while walking their dogs, and he decided to ask her out. He takes her to a table at the Rum House. They can hear a piano player in the background.

"So, what do you like to do for fun?" asks Lucy.
"Oh, you know, going out, hanging with friends, things like that. You?”
"Oh, I'm much more of a homebody. I like to read books. Are you reading anything?"
"Nah, I haven't read a book in years. Feel like I can learn everything I need to on social media and YouTube. I like working out though. You work out?"
"Couldn't pay me to go to the gym."

Brett tries to change the subject. "Are you close with your family?"
"Haven't spoken to them in years. You?"
"I live with them."
"You still live at home?"
"Yeah, the economy, ya know?"
"Sure."

Brett pivots again "So, what's your drink of choice?"
"Oh, I don't drink that much at all. You?"
"Tequila. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor!"
"How charming. So, I take it you go out a lot?"
"No, not a lot, three, maybe four times a week?"
"That's not a lot?"
"I think it's rather light. You?"
"Haven't been out in years."

"So how do you meet men?"
"Apps, you?"
"Oh, I have no need to meet men."

"Very funny."
"Out usually. Last relationship?"
"I was just with a guy for 6 months. He still didn't know, so I broke up with him. I feel like if you don't know by six months then you’re never gonna know. If you don't know, you know. You know?"
"Oh, I'm starting to get the picture."

"What about you?"
"Last relationship? I was hooking up with a girl for two weeks while she was fighting with her boyfriend. But then they got back together."
"So, you were the side piece?"
"Rather the side piece than no piece at all."

"So do you want to get married?"
"God no! I barely want a 401k."
"Children?"
"No thanks, a dog is quite enough."

"You work in finance, right? What are you invested in?"
"Bitcoin! It's obviously the future. You?"
"T bills. Can't beat 7 percent!"
"I can and I will. T bills? How boring!"
"That's me! Mrs. Boring."

"So, Mrs. Boring, shall we get out of here?"

"To where? Your parents’ place?"

"I was thinking of your place."
"That's quite bold. What part of this conversation makes you think I'll sleep with you?"
"I mean...the sex has to be good right?"
"What!?"
"It's clear that you hate me, and, you know what, I am starting to hate you too! All that passion, that heat, would be a shame to waste it, no?"
"Oh, I'm sure there are so many lovely women that would happily hate fuck you."
"Yeah....but they ain't you baby."

"How romantic. You're quite charming for being such a fucking moron."
"I know, it's my gift."
"You're not right for me."
"But I'm Mr. Right Now."

"Tempting."