College Weight- a free-write on weight loss

We are obsessed with weight loss as a culture. I think most of us want to be skinny more than anything else. Even more than happy. This is ironic because the US is the most obese country on the planet. We love the idea of being skinny, we just don't always know how to get there. There are new fads every year. Intermittent fasting, keto, vegan, no carb, low carb, etc. New diets pop up every day. Here's the thing, diets don't work, at least not in the long run. Most people that lose weight through a diet gain it back just as quickly as they lose it. I too have had my own battles with my weight. When I went into college I weight 175(lbs). When I graduated I weighed 212. Most of that weight was gained in my senior year. That year, I used to order a large dominoes pizza every Sunday and ate it while I watched football. Those were magical times, and the body I saw in the mirror when I graduated was also magical. "You're so fat." That's what my dad used to say. He's the brutally honest type, I hated that. But you know what, he was right. That was the most I have ever weighed. I was determined to lose the college weight.

Let's talk a bit about motivation. We all want to be in shape and stay there. But why can't we actually do it? I believe the answer is not in our regimens but in our psychology. The question you have to ask yourself is why do you want to lose weight? If we are honest with ourselves, the answer is that we want to be attractive to others. Not good enough. That will never work. Why? Because you are putting way too much emphasis on what other people think of you. Your motivation is external as opposed to internal. External motivation does not work, at least not in the long run. This is a big problem because it seems that most people are externally motivated most of the time. But the people that go far in life, the ones that keep working far past when most stop, are the internally motivated people. They don't need the money, fame, or the approval of others. Their source of energy comes from within. These people become impossible to stop.

How do you get internally motivated? Well, to be honest, I can't help you here. That journey is different for each and every person. No one can provide motivation for you. Think about it, losing weight and getting in shape takes a lot of hard work and dedication over a long period of time. I can motivate you for a day, but I can't motivate you for a lifetime. You have to do that for yourself. Everyone knows all the benefits of having a healthier lifestyle. You will live longer, have better sex, spend less on healthcare, have more energy, and generally be happier. The important thing here is that whatever you're why is, make sure that it is based on what you want for yourself, not what others want or expect of you.

There are a million ways to work out, and I have tried a lot of them. Weight lifting, cardio, pilates, kickboxing, dancing, cross-fit, HIIT, yoga, etc. When it comes to burning calories, nothing burns more calories than kickboxing. I started taking kickboxing classes a year after graduation and I lost close to 25 lbs in a year. That shit is a workout, and it is a lot of fun. The problem for me was that I wanted to fight, and my hips were too tight for me to compete. I could never kick with any kind of power. That sucked. I could have continued kickboxing but it would have taken me a very long time to become competent enough to fight. So I opted for boxing, which is something that I do to this day. Boxing classes burn 25% fewer calories but are a lot more fun for me. It works for me. And I think that is the key to exercise. It has to be fun. You have to make it fun, otherwise, you will never keep doing it. Try everything till you find a class or a gym or a regimen that is fun for you. Where you can really zone out and just enjoy the experience. Where the rest of you're life goes away for an hour and you can just enjoy your body and the things that it can do.

Another thing that I think we all struggle with when we start working out is frequency. How much should we work out? How often? And for how long? Here's the thing, if your body is not used to working out, an hour a day 4 times a week is not something that you can jump right into. I think the risk of injury becomes too high and you become more likely to burn out and give up. You're asking your body to do something that it just can't do yet. You have to start small and work you're way up. Here are a few tips. A little bit every day is better than a lot a few times a week. You want to get in the habit of doing something every day. Even if it means hopping on the Peloton for 15 minutes a day. Think about it, 15 minutes does not require that much effort, and that time will fly once you're on it. Then, after a couple of weeks, you can up you're dosage to 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Then 45. Eventually, you will be where you want to be. Start small and build you're way up. Don't overdo it right at the beginning.

Now comes the hard part, the diet. Exercise and diet are two sides of the same coin. You are going to need to get both of them working in unison to actually see and keep the results. Think of working out as making money. The more you work out, the more money you make. Having a good diet is like having good monetary habits. It means you are saving money. For many years I worked out a ton and nothing about my fitness level improved at all. Why? Because I was eating and drinking just as much as I was working out. I put in all that work for no real gains. I was spending just as much as I was making. The goal is to create a calorie deficit. There is plenty of apps out there that track calories. Am I really telling you to journal everything that you eat? Yes, yes I am. Or at least that's what worked for me. It will tell you on a daily basis if you are eating too much, too little, or just the right amount. I have used these apps on and off for years at a time. I'm always at the top of my game when I am on the apps. And I always start gaining weight when I am not. The proof is in the pudding or lack thereof.

Let's address the elephant in the room. Why are Americans the most obese population in the world? The answer is fast food and alcohol. I loved Taco Bell more than anything else in life. After books and alcohol, my biggest expenditure in college was Taco Bell. It is by far the best fast food out there, at least for us Indians that like a little spice. Here's the thing though, fast food is garbage. A common rule of thumb, the bigger the corporation that makes your food, the more corners they are cutting. They are incentivized to cut costs because it means more money for them. That's fast food. They are the biggest corporations. They put so much shit in their food that is scientifically designed to make it taste orgasmic. But there is little to no nutritional value there. As a matter of fact, you can eat a lot more fast food, in terms of calories, than you would be able to eat actual food. Fast food will not fill you up, it is designed not to. Why do we allow this as a country? I have no fucking clue. And don't get me started on soda. It's all sugar and has no nutritional value. Diet Coke might be worse. I drank Diet Coke for years. No calories, right? Wrong! Here's the thing, Diet Coke makes you hungry. It is designed to do that. And if you drink it and don't eat it, it will create more fat cells. This is true, there are studies out there. Now let's talk about alcohol. If you have read my writing for a while, you probably know that I fucking love alcohol. It's awesome but consumption comes with a terrific cost. It might be worse for you than soda. Why? Because on a night out you might have anywhere from 6-10 drinks. When was the last time you had 8 Cokes in a day? It doesn't happen. And once you start drinking you have to keep drinking to keep the buzz. All you're doing is consuming more and more empty calories. The average alcoholic beverage is 150 calories.

When I was 20 years old, I told my girlfriend at the time that I could get an 8-pack in 6 weeks if I wanted. She told me to do it. She was a champion collegiate tennis player and she used to needle me with how fit she was. This obviously got under my skin and motivated me to work out as I had never before. I hit the gym pretty hard for two weeks and she started saying "Damn, you look really good." At precisely that point, I stopped going to the gym. My motivation was gone. I didn't start really working out till a couple of years after college, long after that relationship had ended. It's been over a decade and I have spent a million hours working out. I have weighed everywhere from 212 to 180. I have never once seen a single ab on my stomach. I am far from a fitness freak. I have a long way to go, and that is okay. That's life, the journey is the destination. It is easy to look at other people who have things that you want and conclude that their life is automatically so much better than yours. That they don't have problems, that they don't have the same anxieties and fears that you do. That they don't have their own challenges. Comparison is the thief of joy. There is absolutely no need to compare yourself to anyone other than your past self. That is the only person you should be trying to beat. Get a little bit better every day. Incrementalism. You are not going to change your life overnight. That is not how we work. Instead, try to think of your life as a series of habits. That's most of our existence, a bunch of habits. Your goal is to improve these habits, as you see fit, a little bit over time. Instead of drinking 8 drinks every time you go out, try to drink 6. Instead of McDonald's three times a week, try once. Just get a little bit better. And never stop getting better. Once your habits change so will your body. The thing about habits is that once you have them it is harder not to do them than to do them. They come with inherent momentum. So if you have unhealthy habits it will be easier for you to get unhealthier. But what if you flipped your unhealthy habits into healthy habits? It would become easier for you to get healthier!

Maybe I'm full of shit. Do your own research. Make the changes you think you need to make. Don't worry about what other people think. I am here to tell you that however you look or whatever you weigh is okay. There is beauty in each and every one of us. And there is no such thing as a life that is better than yours. Yours is the only life you're going to get, so value it. Treat it with respect. If you are totally fine with where you are and you see no need to make changes, then I get that. That is your choice. No one should be able to tell you how to live your life. But if you do want to be better, to grow, to make that leap then I am here to tell you that you can. There is nothing you can't do in this life if you put your soul behind it.