4% Pregnant

"Fuck, I'm going to come," whispered Travis.
"You can come inside, it's fine," replied Clare.
"What?"
"Yeah, we're in the clear."

Travis was on top and began thrusting hard. One thrust, two, three, four, five.... just as he was about to come, he pulled out. Clare grabbed the base of his penis and directed the sperm north.

"I mean I could die tomorrow!" said Clare as she kissed him.
"Really? That good? Felt like my B+ work."
"A+, across the board."
"Really? You flatter me."
"A+."

"Why didn't you come inside me?"
"Force of habit."
"I must say you picked up the pull-out method like a true champ."
"I know, I've surprised myself yet again."
"Just when you thought you couldn't get better!"

"So the other time I was fishing around up there and I felt something..."
"Fishing around?!"
"Yes. I felt something metallic."
"Yes."
"What is that?"
"It's something that helps with my periods."
"So...not contraception?"
"No."

"So the only thing keeping us from having a baby is me pulling out?"
"Yes."
"That's smart. Put the ball in my hands with the game on the line."
"I know bb, you're so clutch."

"Don't worry, I am the best goalie in the league. Nothing's getting past me."
"You are literally the opposite of a goalie, I'm the goalie!"
"No, it's me! You shall not pass!"
"I could literally pass whenever I want, if anything, I'm the goalie."
"Then I'm the striker?"
"You're the goal."
"Damn right. Wait, then what are you?"
"I'm the goalie...and the striker. See how many roles I have to play."
"I know bb, you are such a foundational piece of the organization, like Tim Duncan."
"Damn right."

"The way I see it, in my world you are always 15% pregnant."
"What?!"
"Well, when you live in percentages, like I do, and you roll the dice 8 times a week, like we do, there is always a chance you could be preggers. In my head, that chance is right at 15%."
"What!?"
"Yup."
"That's too high, there are only three days a month where I can really get pregnant."
"Is that true?"
"Yes."

"I miscalculated then, I'd say you're about 4% pregnant right now."
"That sounds about right."